Seeking Solace

Stop.

But the word sticks on my tongue.

If it didn’t,
if I said it,
neither of you would listen.

I’ve spent my whole life
trying to appease you both—
a wasted effort.
I’ve learned that much at least,
at great cost.

You can’t stop.

And I’m finally learning that I can’t wait,
not anymore.

You see this knowledge in me,
and I see that both of you fear it.

If you would listen,
I would tell you
It’s not about you, not really.

But you won’t, so I won’t.

Instead, silently,
I’ll keep seeking my solace…

And I’ll stop it for you both.