The Gateway

In the blackest depths of unseeing, where I am suspended in a universe of comforting emptiness, a gong summons me from beyond infinity. Each resounding peal crashes through the void like a wave, and for a brief second, the world around me is bathed in gold. But as the sound dies away, so does the light. So, too, do the trappings of the corporeal world I’ve left behind.

After a lifetime which lasts as long as a heartbeat, the void becomes awash in color. Currents of purple and indigo explode like a blossoming lotus right in front of me. Before I have time to marvel at the spontaneous occurrence, the colors swirl around me and pull me further into the abyss. But there is no room for fear in this place. There is only flowing. There is only color. There is only a sense of excited urgency.

I feel it well up within me, so thickly that I feel like I’m choking—but all I can do is laugh. With my laughter comes release, and the current picks up speed and races forever onward. But as soon as it starts, the Gateway swallows me.

I am left floating where the azure sky touches the vastness of space. The sun blazes in front of me, the eye of God, and I am bathed in its welcoming, familiar warmth.

My laughter bubbles forth again, this time with my tears. I am helpless in the face of my sudden resounding ecstasy: the knowledge that my consciousness is as big as the universe, yet as small as an atom, and that I—like everyone else—am a vital part of life’s saga. God’s eye gleams at me, laughing at my comprehension the same as I am, and crying my tears. And slowly, like waking from a dream, I become aware of other life forces.

In wonder, I look down at the world so far below me. I see the frail delusion of my kind. I see the suffering, the unknowing, the heartache, and the loneliness. I see the pointlessness of our vital charade, and it suffocates me. Even up here, it suffocates me. God’s eye before me mirrors my pain. With an inaudible—yet tangible—explosion, the Gateway reappears and draws me back into the void whence I came.

The colors hurtle past me, faster than I can perceive; the gong sounds its illuminating farewell; and I blink back into the world of transience.

The walls of my living room are there to greet me, solid and suffocating.

Though instantly recognizable, this room feels foreign; and I, like a stranger in a body that is not my own. After a few heartbeats, my brain catches up to me. I become aware of the sacred gift that I’ve just experienced, and I sag into the couch I’m sitting on in reverent awe.

The echo of my bliss still whispers at me with the vague knowledge I’ve attained; and I smile to myself with God’s smile.